Blessed are the poor in spirit...

Greetings everyone! It has been such a long time since I've been able to post, so I apologize for that. I am so thankful for all the continued prayers, they mean so much to me. Alot has happened since my last post, so I'll try my best to break it all down...

On Tuesday, I headed to Evangel Hospital and once again joined the medical team. We did many of the same things we did on Monday, which involved going through the Male and Female Wards to check on the progress of patients and give any needed treatments. I'm very glad we did this, because it gave me a broader perspective than if I would have just seen the patients for one day. Many of them were doing better, and it was encouraging to see their faces a little bit brighter than the day before. Tuesday is also the day for Clinicals at the hospital, so a few hours into the day all the doctors met up and prepared themselves for that. There were probably 200 people waiting outside to get in for clinicals and they had to divide out the patients among the four doctors and proceed with that for almost the rest of the day. I got to sit in with one of the doctors and he went through his various patients. It was good to get to see alot of different faces, and it was very interesting to compare the difference between things here in Nigeria and back in the States. I headed home that night, completely unaware of the adventure that was to come.

Now just to give some background details... Brittany had come down with some sickness on Monday night which had stopped her from going out on both Tuesday and Wednesday. I thought I had lucked out and missed whatever bug she had caught... so thankfully I headed again to the hospital on Wednesday. I had to be there extra early so the leader of the medical team I had been working with could introduce me to the head of the surgical department. I got to meet him and he was glad to have me join in with the surgical team for the day. He told me not much would be going on that day, because many people had backed out of their scheduled surgeries hadn't shown up. That was fine with me... so I headed into the lounge area for all the surgeons and nurses. I got scrubbed in and headed to the "Main Theatre", which is what they call the operating room. Nothing was going on when I arrived, the surgeons were just re-cleaning things and getting ready for patients to arrive that day. I met a few nursing students from California who were visiting in Jos and joining the surgical team with me as well that week. Probably five minutes into my conversation with them... it hit me. Something in my stomach was not happy. I rushed to the bathroom to relieve myself and felt seemingly fine afterwards. Back in the theatre, patients were being brought in for re-dressing of wounds. Everything from horrible burn victims to patients who had infected bones were coming in to have their wounds cleaned and re-dressed. These were by far the most extreme wounds I have ever seen, especially in person. One of the patients had absolutely no skin left from his knees down due to gangrene... others had bones visible from wounds that were so deep... it was painful to see. I was scurrying around helping with gauze and pouring hydrogen peroxide, when once again it hit me. Not the stomach bug this time, but instead I was slowly blacking out. Blood and things like that normally don't bother me, but I had never really seen things like this. I walked toward one of of the surgeons to ask if there was somewhere I could sit down and basically fell on them as I did. A couple of them grabbed me and helped me to another room where they laid me down and got some water for me. Luckily I didn't faint completely, but I completely lost my vision for quite some time.. which is never too fun. Once I recovered from the blackout, the stomach bug hit again. I didn't want to give up and go home, so I went back into the theater to take on the rest of the day. I felt completely fine for everything else we did, which was a relief and I really enjoyed getting to view the different surgeries. There was a cool breeze blowing through the Theatre that day though, and the scrubs I had on weren't the warmest attire. I started to feel chilled with a few hours left that day and tried to stay warm as best I could...

I got home that night and the sickness finally hit me. Full blown fever.... full blown stomach bug... it was not too fun. I had brought plenty of meds with me, so I started popping everything that I was told would help. I know the drugs were working, but I couldn't feel any difference that night.
I obviously stayed home to rest on Thursday and spent really the entire day either in the bathroom or in the bed. My goal is not to incite sympathy in any of this, I have a later point to make, but it really was miserable. Both Wednesday and Thursday night were comparatively the worst nights of my life. I have never had more intense stomach cramps and bowel pains. It felt like my insides were exploding over and over. Pressure just kept building up inside of me, and even with the diarrhea, that pressure wouldn't release. It just kept building and building leading to more and more pain. The fever only struck twice, but when it did, I couldn't find warmth even under 2 layers of clothes, 2 blankets and all the pillows in my room. My body just shook with cold and even in absolute restlessness and weakness I couldn't fall asleep. I slept maybe 3 hours on and off both nights made up of 10 minute intervals of sleep here and there... with visits to the bathroom every 5 or 10 minutes. I was writhing in pain on my bed just trying to find a position to lay in that wouldn't further hurt my stomach, just so I could enjoy 5 minutes of sleepless rest before I knew I would have to get up for the bathroom again. Hopelessness tried to overtake me several times. I had never been this sick and at the same time been away from family and friends who so lovingly would have cared for me. I was in my room, alone, in Jos Nigeria with only the bottles of medicine beside my bed to offer any immediate comfort. Praise the Lord thats not the condition I was left in...

Because despite all of this, I was filled with such trust in God. Everything I've been through so far in Africa, if nothing else, has taught me absolute trust in my Father. Even through all the restless pains of the night, I was praying to God with thankfulness in my heart. I was singing songs to Him and I didn't have a care in the world. He helped me to realize how blessed I was even in my suffering. For blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. When I was laying on that bed entirely void of energy in absolute weakness, the Lord was at His strongest. In my admission of helplessness, He could fulfill His role of Divine Provider and comforter. When I could do nothing of my own power to help, and even the medicine I was taking didn't seem to help, all I could do was turn to God. I realized turning to God is what I should do in any and every situation, not just the one where my helplessness is so apparent to me. For the truth is that even when I am in good health and right mind, I am absolutely helpless in this world. Without Christ, I can do nothing, and with Christ I can do all things.

He has made it so clear to me here, more clear than ever before, that He is in absolute control. I can ask with all my heart for immediate healing and comfort... knowing that the Father can provide both at his desire. I can ask Him with absolute faith in His power, and with only His glory in mind for healing and comfort... but if they don't come, I have to trust that He is still in control. I have to trust that my suffering is for a reason. That my suffering is for His glory, and that maybe my suffering will help me to understand just a fraction of what true suffering is. Maybe through it I can begin to understand the suffering of the countless people I have seen here in Africa... People broken and dieing on the streets, people in the hospital, on their death beds, with no hope in their eyes, people who might have the same virus I had caught but without any medication in sight. People struggling with HIV, people that don't have the luxuries of doctors and medicines and people who don't have family and friends to help them in their sickness. How much greater is their pain. For even in my sickness and weakness, I am blessed beyond my own understanding. Even in my sickness and pain, God has provided for me and given me more than so many others have. I could not stop singing the lines from the song by Matt Redman "Blessed be the Name of the Lord" through those two nights.

"And every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
and when the darkness closes in Lord,
still I will say,
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your Name,
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away,
You give and take away,
My heart will choose to say,
Lord blessed be your Name."

I am honestly glad I went through the the sickness I did. God has taught me so much through it and the entire experience I've had at the hospital. Life on this earth is so fragile. Car accidents or diseases or anything else you can name can end our lives in the blink of an eye. Regardless of how old we are, we have no protection from death. Being still young at the age of 19, I've realized that I've almost felt immune to death in the past. It sounds stupid, but its truly how I was. I always thought to myself.. "I'm so young, there is no way I'm going to die any time soon... I have many years to live". But that is something I shouldn't take for granted. God has taught me truly that each day I wake up is a blessing. It is life that I cannot take for granted. That at any moment, death could come for me in this world. The most absolutely beautiful thing about all this is that I have nothing to be afraid of. For my God has conquered death. Even when my body on this earth ceases to move and my my heart stops beating, whether that day be near or far... I have nothing to fear. For I have absolute faith that as my God tells me through scripture that He will create a new body for me. A heavenly body that will never die... and in that body, I will live an eternal life with my creator in Heaven... a place where there will be NO sickness, NO pain, and NO death... for Jesus Christ has conquered them all, and to His name be the praise and glory for ever and ever. Can I get an Amen?

So with that hope and that joy... I continue my life here in Jos. As of this morning, I am completely healed (and praise God Brittany was healed as of Thursday). With God's healing and comfort I turned the corner Friday night and recovered into this morning. By God's grace... and coupled with the foolishness of youth =D ... I even went and played ultimate frisbee this morning. I probably should have continued resting today but I really do love that game, and I've had to miss out every other weekend, haha. A group of 25 or so missionaries gets together on Saturdays and plays at one of the local parks, and I hadn't been able to make it to a game yet. I was worn out to say the least after playing, but I am still in good health and rebuilding energy. Praise the Lord first and foremost, and secondly I want to thank everyone for your prayers. Sorry I couldn't post in the midst of my sickness, but your prayers were heard and helped me even not knowing exactly what I was going through. My poor mother is the only one back home I told what was going on and kept updated. It broke my heart to hear the helplessness in her voice, knowing that she couldn't do anything to help her child. I know God has grown her through this experience as well and it brings a smile to my face. I love mother =)

I will be staying with a local friend tonight and into tomorrow. We will be going with him and his family to a different church than we normally attend tomorrow so I will not be playing with the worship band. Chuck Madinger should arrive in Abuja tonight and is planning on driving to Jos tomorrow, so please pray for his safety and guidance. Continue to pray that God teaches me new things daily and every experience I have here will draw me closer to Him. I really have no idea what I will be doing next week at this point... but I will update you all when I figure it out. Please keep praying, and if you will, join me in praising God for all He has done in my life here in Jos. Your prayers and support has been so vital to everything that has gone on here, so thank you. I hope this post has blessed your lives as God has been blessing my life over the past few days. Until next time..

Grace and Peace from an Almighty God